Harry Jankowskowitz,
Midwest President,
Schmerz Breweries Inc.:

------I was a low-level personnel manager when I first joined the Schmerz team and stayed there for several years while the company saw its distribution slowly decline in the face of direct competition with larger breweries.  After several lay-off measures the worst seemed inevitable: I was certain the company would be bankrupt unless the upper brass started to operate on a different business model.  That’s when I ran into an old professor who recommended that I take a month off work and get a master’s degree in Faking Smart.  …It all started to make sense.

------When I got back to Schmerz I really started to shake things up.  Working from Faking Smart’s “Belly-up” model I started by applying everything I learned at the FSIHL.  Within four months our sales rocketed up - 500% and labor dropped to a quarter of what it had been.  Within half a year we were on the front page of Fortune Finders Magazine, where they called Schmerz Breweries one of the “top 25 companies to watch out for!”  Less than a year after having received my Faking Smart Masters Degree, I was named president of Schmerz’s strategic planning team.
Since then I’ve dropped beer from our product list and have put all our attention toward “Moon Soup,” an organic, non-dairy, beef-and-cheddar, oatmeal breakfast pudding.  If there’s a market for this, we’ll find it!
-Faking Smart, …eh, I love you like a million bucks!